You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
