I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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