Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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