My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
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