oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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