Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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