Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
