dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
