that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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