I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
