STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize