It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
