How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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