New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
