you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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