i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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