The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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