sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
