Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
