So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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