What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize