It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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