So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
