i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
