I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
