is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The uberlube is also flammable
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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