You're so nebulous sometimes
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
