Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
how does that bad decision feel?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
