I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
