i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
