Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
