k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
