I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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