I just pynch a tree in the face
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
