so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize