I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
