just tell him i said nine months
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
