So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
