hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
