she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
