I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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