i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
