its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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