pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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