oh god the rape fog is back!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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