i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
