Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
