Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
