Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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