please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
where are you?
Hypothermia
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Randomize
