I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
