On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
sex in a hospital.. check
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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