we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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