I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
