oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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