I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
