Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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