Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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