the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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