I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
