i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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